This morning my heart was open with warmth while my eyes landed on the open hands. Two dear friends* had created a nest in their palms. They were standing still in the forest with their hands stretching out to nature. Birds could choose whether to have a quick stop for a bite. No rush, no pressure. It was a matter of choice. My friends chose to offer food. The birds could choose as well. That beautiful exchnage of offering and receiving made me think of human relationships.
What do we choose to offer to others as a way to feed them? Is it real food we prepare in order to express our gratitude? Is it a soft hug we give to welcome a loved one when he/she is back home after a difficult day? Is it a lullaby for sweet dreams to our baby? How do we deliver these gifts of care and love? How do others absorb them? What do we get back after offering? Do we really want to be offered something back or are we satisfied only by giving? And how do we co-create a nourishing interaction?
Offering a piece of love might seem like a simple process. If we look at the gesture per se, it is simple indeed: I put food in my palm and I go to the forest to feed the birds. If we pay more attention, we can observe more pieces underneath. We can notice the intention to offer, the desire to connect, the smile after listening to “thank you”, the acceptance around “No, I am not feeling hungry now”, the joy of tender interaction, the patience around the relationship to flourish, the willingness to investigate a possible crisis during the feeding process, the mutual vision of growing together while respecting each other’s uniqueness.
Behind an act of love we can understand how a person has learned and experienced acts of love since childhood. We can have an image of what was nutritious and how the nourshing effect keeps being alive in adulthood. It is easy for us all to spot the difference between a real warm hug and a cold one. Even when we don’t know a person well, our intution can observe whether what is received is given with generosity or not.
Each one of us has grown up in a nest. While leaving it, we are about to explore how to make another one. And when two beings have to co-create a new nest, things get more complicated.
- It is when we re-visit our nests of origin and gain awareness of what really was happening in there, that we increase the possibilities of building a different one.
- It is when we keep the nourishing parts and replace inside us the ones that were not healthy, that we can move on with insightful glasses.
- It is when we find other mates with open hands, that we land on a beautiful opportunity to teach ourselves new lessons of giving and receiving.
I am letting my hands open to rest on my chest. I take a deep breath and try to listen to my heartbeat. Feeling the temperature in my palms, I am connecting through this warmth with the offering hands in Canada. Feeling the rise and fall of my chest, I am connected through this movement with my desire to fly to tender relationships.
In there, the world of friendship will be nested, new words will fly away:
I open my palms to offer.
I open my hands to receive.
I open my perspective to accept.
I open my heart to forgive.
I open up to the world.
I open up with my words.
With a handful of my world in my words I open the door to trust.
I am open to possibilities of hearfelt communication.
I am open to genuine connections.
I am open to invite myself for more openness.
*I am dedicating this post to Claudine and Francis with much love.