Women called him an “egoist”, a “hog”. His friends admired him for his wild life. His colleagues regarded him as “lucky”. For his parents he was a butterfly. Nobody knew that he was actually alone.
The truth is that he was not aware of the degree of his loneliness. Sometimes he wanted to take distance from everyone, from everything. He felt drained. He believed that journeys, relationships, parties sucked his energy. Feeling exhausted he realized that nothing gave him pleasure anymore. He was never truly satisfied. He just crammed his sorrow into the noise of his life. He had chosen none of his actions.
His loneliness was not his choice either. A power outside his control pushed him away from everyone. Even when he was among friends this sneaking power sent him away.
To whom could he talk? Who would understand the loneliness of a bachelor? He prefered silence. He didn’t want others to pity him. It was better to be left alone. After all he had got used to the side effects of loneliness.
He knew that being left alone was a positive source as well. He could become more creativity, he would redefine the meaning in life. The awakening state of solitude stemmed from a power inside him. The power of choosing to be alone in order to get more active in social connections.
In reality he longed for intimacy. He wished someone could see inside his heart and pull him out of his lonely trap.