the phone rang and I was asked to book my first session in my private practice. I asked myself: “Who am I to start working as a self emloyed psychotherapist? Do I fully meet the criteria to be a therapist?”. I had already clinical experience and knowledge. I was still wondering whether that was enough.
Accepting my doubt I began my private practice and I kept on receiving supervision.
I learned to say goodbye to people with whom I don’t share the same vision. I thought that there is no point in holding them, since their hand was cold and lifeless. Doubt came once again asking me whether I take the right decision. When I stopped holding the hand, I felt alone without protection. My experience taught me to trust my choices more and to discern between cold and warm hands.
Who am I to write these words 10 years afterwards?
A piece inside me feels like a student searching for knowledge and is thirsty for new challenges. This side of myself seeks for inspiring and loving teachers. It wants to feel their support and to listen to their productive feedback. Another aspect in me wants to give advice to younger colleagues, to encourage them to chase their dreams and to listen to their worries.
My clients have been the most wise teachers
I am so thankful for my clients who have trusted me and teach me through our interaction. They let me hold their secrets, see in their heart and visit their thoughts.
They inspire me and they give me the best lessons of resilience. Their desire for change and their efforts fuel my energy. I dream of having a party and invite them as guests of honor. There I would tell them how much I admire and respect them. Even the ones who are not in life keep being next to me.
2016: 10 years afterwards
I raise my glass in my imagination and I drink with them. Our cocktails have three basic ingredients: awareness, courage and love. These are the most important elements that I encountered during the last four years of my practice. In every sip I say “Thank you!” to colleagues and teachers who support me. Their support strengthens my skills to help my clients.
My wish for the future
is to keep getting inspiration and become more warm as a human being and a therapist. I want to maintain the energy of the student and the wisdom of the therapist. And to make more room for self doubt, whenever is echoes inside me..!